This month, I’m a pediatrician. Yesterday I diagnosed about twenty viral infections, a handful of ear infections, gave albuterol in the office to one 8 month old child, obtained elbow films on a soccer player, reviewing the order of ossificatoin centers in the pediatric elbow (Come Read My Tale of Love) or, if you’re a crass orthopedic surgery resident, “Come Ride My Tree of Love”. I helped draw blood on a 9 month old that took three grown adults to hold her down while we fished for blood, I inhaled about a gazillion virus particles, washed my hands at least fifty times and doused my stethescope with a gallon of alcohol.
When I reported to the emergency department to sign in for overnight call, however, I suddenly became a cardiologist again as a fatigued ED tech ran out and asked for anybody to help with CPR. I put on gloves and took my turn, taking over for one of the code nurses who was so tired her compression rate and forced had slowed significantly. I performed about 30 seconds of vigorous rapid compressions and guess what happened? Her heart started beating again. They asked me not to leave and said I scared the pulse back into her!
When I finally got to sleep, I didn’t get a single page overnight so today is my first weekday free in over a month…time for errands and mailing gifts to my nephew.