Mr. Hassle's Long Underpants

JOHN:
Doctor, I don’t know if this is a bad question, but I have to ask you. Have you ever heard of a medical term called Red Octupus Measles?

ME:
Umm, no. I’ve never heard of that.

JOHN:
How about the tick measles?

ME:
No, sorry.

JOHN:
Well than you don’t know very much, do you?

ME:
What is it you’d like to know about?

JOHN:
Well I’ve got them down there.

ME:
Where?

JOHN:
You know…down there
(rolls eyes downard towards crotch and points)

ME:
Oh, I see. Would you like me to take a look?

JOHN:
Yes please.

(I leave the room and ask a male nurse/police officer to act as my chaperone.)

NURSE:
OK, buddy, lets get those pants off. What are we looking for here.

JOHN:
(lays down looking straight up at the cieling)
You know, the red ticks. They’re hanging off there. I scratch them off all the time.

ME:
Where are they?

JOHN:
They’re down there, you’ll find them. You’ll see.

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