How to Fake Wheezing and Avoid Going to Jail

First of all, you can’t fake wheezing.  Wheezing occurs deep in the small airways and alveoli.  it is a characteristic noise that cna be heard, even through screaming babies and mumbling old men.  It’s a sound that can’t be mistaken for gurgling, moaning, croup, stridor, coughing or purposely constricting your throat.

A wheeze is a wheeze is a wheeze,  and you can’t fake it.

So if you’re ever in the situation wher eyouare arrested, and you try to fake an upper respiratory illness and demand that you need to be admitted to the hospital until the doctors get your wheezing under control…don’t even try it…you can’t fake it.

But even more important to remember is that if you TRY to fake wheezing, it’s best to do some breathing…I mean, if no air is going in and out of your mouth, no wheeze will be produced, even if it’s real.

While it may seem logical to hold yoru breath and just move your chest in and out to try and fake a lung related illness…it will not keep you from going to jail.

So don’t waste the officer’s time dragging him to the ER…it’s just going to result in a big bill arriving in the mail.  (unless you live in massachusette’s…in which case the state will probably get the bill).

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